Becoming My Own Cup of Tea

By M.

  It's okay to be who I am. I may not be everyone's cup of tea, but I am learning how to be my cup.  

  I want to love & help everybody but in doing so, I wouldn't be helping me. Feelings get all tied up & scary when I care for people more than I care for myself, like they matter more than me.   

  Loyalty can be a flaw if you are loyal to a person who is not loyal to you.     

  There are times when I put people up on a pedestal, only to find out that I am no worse off than anyone else. Everyone faces trials in life, none of us is the same. We all have different minds, different ways of thinking. 

  However, to think anyone is more than they are only lets you both down.   Instead of focusing on other people, I need to focus on myself. It helps me to be aware of my own flaws, growth & that everyone has problems.   

  The more I write, the more I realize that the things I am sensitive to aren’t the things people say to me today, but things people said about or to me when I was a young child.   

  It has been a very hard yet beautiful journey, realizing that life is like plastic twirling in the wind, designed for outside. I am in my fifties now & I realized I have seen things in my life come around again & again, however, each time I see them from a different view or perspective.   

  I am trying to know what is real or what is just my mind, struggling to grasp the concept that this isn't happening to me, for in my mind what I am thinking is very logical from where I come from.  

  Understanding something I cannot explain or see is just searching for answers that are not needed, for this is a new day, a new situation.    

  It would be wrong for me to assume or go about it any differently. It's not an all or nothing life, it's a life to slow down & enjoy this new day the Father has renewed for me today.