Lady in Red Seeks a Good Night Out

Image and text by Rick McVicar   

  The lady in red needs a good night out, away from her two-year-old twins with their jibber jabber, temper tantrums and drool.   

  In a hurry to leave the house, she mistakenly uses her lipstick as mascara. Her nerves are jumping, anxious for the baby-sitter to arrive with tales of teen-aged angst.  

  Anxiety reigns supreme in the house, which seems like a death trap with no father in sight. He left long away, shortly after the babies were born. Thankfully, his support checks come on time.    

  The lady in red tries to count her blessings when the doorbell rings. The lady runs to the door. She nervously opens the door to find a sweet-sixteen girl lip-locked on a boy.   

  The lady screams as a taxicab pulls up in front of the house. The scream does not seem to bother the teen couple in a make-out session on the front porch.   

  “I’m calling the cops,” the lady hollers as she grabs the girl’s arm to pull her into the house.    

  The boy spins and high tails it to his car, yelling “I love you,” as he opens his car door. He peels out of the lady’s driveway.  

  The lady in red turns around to begin lecturing her baby-sitter. The taxi driver honks his horn. The lady yanks a list of instructions from her purse and throws it at the girl. The lady turns, slams the door and runs to the cab.  

  “Where to, lady? the driver asks.   

  “The Pastel Patio. And take the free-way, I’m in no mood for red lights,” the lady answers.   

  She could not wait to get to the art gallery, which was hosting an opening reception for a watercolor exhibition. The lady in red was looking forward to seeing paintings of ponds, trees and sunsets with their calming yellows and blues.   

   An added bonus would be getting a chance to meet a handsome stranger. The lady in red looked down and discovered a spot of purple grape juice on her blouse.    

  “On second thought, driver, take me through town. Stop at the first dollar store so I can buy a new top,” the lady said.   

  Nothing was going to stop the lady in red from having a good night out. 

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